Don’t interrupt!
That’s what people of my parent’s generation told me. Even if I had just run downstairs having accidentally set fire to my bedroom hoping to organise a chain of people to pass along buckets of water onto the blaze, it wouldn’t have mattered. I should wait quietly, smoke floating silently under the door, until I’m invited to speak.
Well, that’s all very noble. However, interrupting is a reality of life and an essential skill in business. We need to interrupt to keep a wandering meeting on track, to correct factual inaccuracies, to show we don’t approve of something said, or even just to show off a little.
These people must think I’m an idiot.
I’m sure we’ve all been in a meeting thinking, “I’ve said nothing at all. These people must think I’m an idiot.” A good interruption can raise your profile in a meeting and remind your co-meeters that you exist. (Proceed with caution, however. Remember the sage advice of Abraham Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”)
So, we need to interrupt. But why is it so difficult? Well, it’s probably because you’ve been taught that in English we use fixed expressions like: “Allow me to interject” or “If I may, I’d like to develop that idea.” Trying to remember these phrases and insert them gently into a meeting of native-speakers is nigh-on impossible and will probably make your big moment sound intrusive and confusing.
How do you do it?
The secret is not so much in the form or even the delivery of these expressions, it’s about the preparation.
You can’t just jump into the middle of someone’s speech and start talking. You’d end up talking all over them which is really disrespectful. What you can do is let everyone know you have something to say. This is like taking a ticket at the fish counter of the supermarket. Then you wait your turn.
Here's the interrupting process in full.
1. Making yourself known.
There are several ways to do this.
a. Make a neutral noise. My favourite is a sort of ‘Mm’ from the throat. But everyone has their own style. It should be something noticeable, but not interrupting.
b. Make an 'Agree' noise. E.g., “Exactly”, “Yes”.
c. Make a 'Disagree' noise. A longer, “hmm”, from the lips and nose can work.
d. Make a physical gesture. Sitting up straight can work, also try looking confused or taking a long breath in.
Now everyone in the meeting knows you want to speak, and probably the speaker does too. They're ready for you. The next time there’s a pause, go for it.
2. Wait for the pause and use their name.
E.g.,
Speaker: If we return to the figures for the third quarter of 1995 we see that the overall picture was good, However,…
You: John?
It’s hard to ignore someone saying your name. Really hard. Using a name will usually stop the speaker immediately. Even if the speaker continues, they’re bound to have noticed you and they’ll invite you to speak at the next convenient moment. Then take a breath and go on to step three.
3. Apologise for / justify the interruption.
E.g.,
Sorry to interrupt, John. I’d just like to add that…
or,
I think this is great information, John. But perhaps we could also consider…
There are many expressions used to interrupt people, but usually my advice is, keep it simple and brief. Over-formal or overlong interruptions will not be appreciated. Get to the point.
It's also useful in these days of video conferencing to say who is speaking. It can be difficult to see you.
Bad: John, allow me to interject regarding the section you elaborated on regarding the figures of the third quarter.
Good: John, this is Henry. Could I just go back quickly to what you said earlier?
And there you are! New superpower of the meeting. You have made your point and done it well. Your boss is impressed and the other people in the meeting are already looking for you on LinkedIn. Well done.
In conclusion, I really feel that the language you use for the interruption itself doesn’t matter so much. The important thing is the process.
Make it known you want to say something
Wait for the pause
Use the speaker’s name to stop them
Apologise for the interruption
Make your point clearly and briefly.
One more thing. Don’t insist. If the speaker loves the sound of their own voice and doesn’t stop for you to speak, so be it. You'll have to wait. Speaking over someone can make you look bad and can seem rude to the speaker.
If you're interested in improving your English, get in touch. I'm happy to chat, free of charge, and discuss how I can help.
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