Do you kindly ask people to do things in emails?
E.g., Could you kindly return this document before the end of the day please?
Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you might not sound as kind as you think.
The problem is that the word kindly is a little tricky to use. It looks kind. No doubt about it. Kind regards is definitely kind. That’s kind of you. Thank you for your kind gift. All positive. So far so good.
However, if we look at the context in which kindly is often used in requests, we can see that it has quite a different feel to it.
Consider this list of examples of we kindly ask. When you read them, think of the way that the request feels.
We kindly ask you to leave the premises, sir.
In this respect we kindly ask you not to identify any confidential information.
We kindly ask you to cancel your reservation 24 hours in advance.
We kindly ask our guests not to smoke in any of our rooms!
We kindly ask the passengers to always address such matters to the carrier’s office.
We kindly ask our guests to leave their room at around 10.00.
We kindly ask you not to smoke in the restaurant during breakfast.
We kindly ask you to inform us if you intend to arrive after 6 pm.
We kindly ask you to understand that we don’t accept dogs.
The feeling of the above is generally impersonal, official, and essentially an order.
This is one of the trickiest aspects of learning a language. Learning words and their meanings can be straightforward, but learning the feeling and emotion that the words carry is a different kettle of fish, i.e. quite different.
And it is important, because our personal experience with that language will affect how it makes us feel. If you’ve spent all your life hearing people order you around with the word kindly, then you will hear it as an order. And not a particularly kind one.
In conclusion, I think it’s better to be safe than sorry. So, kindly don’t use this phrase in your work emails any more, especially if you are communicating with people in the UK. It probably won’t be a problem, but it could sound a little bossy.
And anyway, we have some great alternatives:
(If it’s convenient,) would you mind sending
Would it be possible to send
(If possible,) could you send
Do you think you could send
E.g.,
Good: Unfortunately, we have had an issue with the attached document. Would it be possible to re-send it please?
Bad: Unfortunately, we have had an issue with the attached document. Would you kindly resend it please?
Good: Our meeting was originally scheduled for Friday, but something’s come up. Do you think we could move it to earlier in the week?
Bad: Our meeting was originally scheduled for Friday, but something’s come up. I ask you kindly to move it to earlier in the week.
Good: If convenient, would you mind assisting the new hires with the signing in procedure.
Bad: If convenient, would you kindly assist the new hires with the signing in procedure.
I hope that’s useful. Have a great week.
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